More on Epiphanies….

My list of personal Epiphanies and Experiences

I wrote a list of personal epiphanies mostly for my own review and realization of personal growth. Over the years these incidents were stepping stones on my path to self realization. I remember that my thoughts when I was young were very limited and my understanding of other people nonexistent. Slowly over many years questions arose that made me look inside and outside for answers. Why am I concerned about what others think? Why do I have an ego and why does “it” want a satisfying public image? Where does my idea of a personal “Image” come from? Have I chosen my lovers or is it Mother Nature or the others desire being fulfilled? Why is the economy crumbling and the politicians so corrupt and inept, even more importantly: why do I even care? These ideas led me from the study of magic to martial arts to religion to self awareness. I know a lot of people will not believe that our thoughts become reality. The reason is that they have not been properly instructed by their parents and basically live in ignorance. We do all live out expectations, no matter how negative or damaging the thoughts are. There are over seven billion humans on the earth now, each living either in heaven or hell, depending on their interpretation of life and their expectations of the future.

Epiphany #2.] The Bird House.   Many years ago, when I was still in my forties, I had to fly back to Illinois from Washington for my father’s funeral. Arriving at my Parents home I noticed the old bird house in the pear tree. A string of memories ran through my mind. When I was about 6 years old, my father took me to his wood shop and we made that bird house together. My dad said that if the hole was smaller than 1 ¼ inches it would attract Wrens, bigger than that, it would attract Sparrows. So we made a small hole and hung the house in the pear tree along the path to our back yard garden. My dad said that Wrens are very territorial and have a territory of 30 feet; anything that gets that close is attacked. So I measured with a tape measure 30 feet and put a stick in the ground. Within one week there was a wren making a nest, when I would walk passed the stick, the small bird would swoop down and try to scare me away! I really thought that was funny when I was a child.  A two-inch tall bird trying to scare me away! For years, whenever anyone would walk the garden path, the Wren would swoop down on them and dive past making a high pitch squawking noise. Well, some 36 years later, I was walking down the garden path and the little Wren swooped down as always, except this time I realized that Wrens only live about six years and so this must be the 6th generation Wren….yet to me, it was just the same garden Wren. This would probably be the last time I walked down this garden path as I was there to bury my father; the wren house was falling apart, straw sticking out the sides that had split open from 36 years of use. The Wren was just life itself behaving as it had learned to behave. I was behaving like a human, carrying on with the expectations of life, reflecting on my father’s life and how it had patterned my life.  I was there to attend the funeral and take his ashes to be buried in the family plot, just like was done in the past with my grandfather. Patanjali said, “All behaviors are learned behaviors”. I recognized that mine are not any different from those of the little Wren. The little Wren made me remember that I am life itself, nothing more, nothing less.



About Rudolph V Kolar

Consciousness Researcher, Instructor stress management, English, and Yoga.
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