The epiphanies that led me to today

A farmhouse at night, what would it be like to live in the middle of no-where? Graduate school days were days of crazy weekends, many girlfriends, drugs and alcohol. I was dating a woman named Lucy, a Cuban woman and a very successful executive working in Chicago. I would drive in on a Friday afternoon and spend Friday and Saturday in Chicago doing the city night life. Usually I’d find myself driving back to DeKalb on Sunday night at 3 am, OK that’s Monday morning.  The freeway being empty I would drive at 100 MPH until I saw tail lights ahead or headlights in my rear view mirror. My Austin Healy 3000 topped out at about 105 MPH. The road between downtown Chicago and DeKalb, Illinois is about Sixty-five miles of straight boring highway surrounded mostly by corn fields once out of the city limits. One night as I headed home I noticed a light in a farmhouse about one mile north of the freeway, just before the DeKalb freeway exit and in the middle of nothing except corn fields, miles of cornfields. I was tired and stared at the light for a few seconds, then asked myself out loud….since I was alone in the car and I have a habit of talking out loud when I’m alone, “what is it like to live in the middle of nowhere?” The next day my college roommate Tony, we shared a house together, asked me if I ever saw a Frank Lloyd House. I said no, so we went to see one. The owner of the house was a Real estate broker who told us about the deals in country houses due to expansion by a local Agriculture Company buying more land. The deal worked like this. Farm land was selling for $2000 per acre and most farms were several hundred acres with a barn and a farmhouse. The big corporation would buy the farm and then put the house and barn along with one acre of land for sale at $18,000 to $20,000. The average home price in town at that time was about $50,000. They would then use that money to buy more farmland. Tony and I bought a farm house. It had a new 75 X 100 barn for tractor storage, a grain storage silo and a three bedroom 1890 farmhouse along with one acre of land. We were really happy as it was about five minutes from campus and would be a great “party” house location. So a week later after spending a day painting and cleaning, I went to bed in the upstairs bedroom where I had a sleeping bag on the floor. I had the window open and I heard a car in the distance. On my knees I lean out the window, noting the million stars and clear night air, in the distance I start to see the car going down the freeway….and it hits me….this is the house that can be seen from the freeway as you approach the DeKalb exit, the very house that I saw as I was driving home from Chicago a few weeks before. I had the feeling I was looking at myself driving down the freeway as I knelt at the window, my head started to spin and I felt that this was some conclusion to a question I had asked. How can that happen, how can that be? I wrote myself a note that I should watch my reality and take notes when I recognize my thoughts manifesting. Over time I realized that this is how our lives unfold, how our thoughts manifest.



About Rudolph V Kolar

Consciousness Researcher, Instructor stress management, English, and Yoga.
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